Weddings Around the World – Indonesia

Keep the wedding gifts simple

Count yourself fortunate if you’ve had the opportunity to attend an Indonesian wedding. The fascinating wedding ceremonies and festivities are most likely like none you’ve ever experienced.  Indonesians are truly honored by your attendance and don’t be surprised if an acquaintance you’ve recently met, invites you to their daughter’s or son’s wedding. They really do want you to come!

If you would like to attend the wedding ceremony, you want to be sure to bring the appropriate gift.  In modern times, extravagant wedding gifts and novelties are a thing of the past.   Because they host such large weddings, Indonesian couples would receive many duplicate gifts. It was not uncommon for the wedding couple to receive, for example, 15 blenders, 20 mixers, 10 toasters, even several refrigerators and cars!!

In the mid-90’s a new practice arose where the couple asked for the omission of gifts and flowers, right in their wedding invitation.  It translates this way, “Without belittling your generosity, we’d appreciate it if you didn’t give us flowers or a gift.”  This is a nice way of asking for money instead of gifts. Having said this, you are not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding.  Remember, you presence at their wedding is what means most to the Indonesian bride and groom.

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Wedding Novelties and Gifts Add Fun to your Festivities

Many of us tend to see the more serious side of the Indian culture.  Although marriage is considered serious and sacred, weddings in India are more than just customs and ceremonies they consist of many fun rituals as well. 

Because many of these rituals involve the good-nature of both friends and family, it would be a good idea to show them how much you appreciate their good nature, should you decide to use any of these fun rituals.  Some creative wedding gifts and novelties that somehow relate back to the ritual might be a great way to say thank you. 

For example, the garland ceremony, better known as Jaimala, is a popular ritual involving the friends and families of the couples.  The bride tries to place the garland around the groom’s neck and his friends step in and try to prevent her from doing so.  Then the bride’s friends and family will also jump in and try to help her succeed.  The ritual ends with the groom placing the garland around the bride’s neck.  Both sides have a lot of fun. A fun gift idea for the participants might be small floral garlands, either real or silk, that can be used for decoration in the home after the wedding.  You may be able to find some type of garland jewelry, maybe a necklace, bracelet or ring.  Even silly ideas like a lei or something you’d find in a party store that represents a garland would be a great reminder of this amusing ritual.

Another well known pre-wedding ceremony, called Mehendi, takes place at the bride’s home.  Her female family members and friends put henna on her hands and feet.  You could give out henna tattoos to your guests.  Maybe you could have them specially made with your names and wedding date.  Don’t worry, they’ll fade in time.

In some Indian communities, the bride’s sister hides the groom’s shoes and won’t give them back until he pays her for them.  I can see a bag of gold chocolate coins as an appropriate gift here.

The “Aeki-Beki” ritual is practiced using a pot or dish of water, mixed with vermillion and milk and then coins and a ring are thrown in.  The couple is then given seven tries to fish the ring out.  You could come up with some creatively outrageous ideas for this one.  Fishing rods for the guys and rings for the ladies would be fitting.  To add that element of fun, you could give toy fishing rods and candy rings. 

Any way you choose to interject these amusing rituals, they are sure to liven up your ceremony.  The right wedding party gifts will simply be the icing on the cake.

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Weddings Around the World – SpainSpain is known as a passionate, colorful country, rich in culture.  These attributes make the perfect ingredients for creating an amazing wedding. Spanish wedding traditions have long been a staple in Western European culture. Though they have certainly changed over the years, some of them are still practiced and cherished today.

One tradition that has survived the test of time is the presentation of thirteen coins from the groom to the bride.  Before a couple exchanges their vows, the groom gives his bride thirteen coins as part of his wedding party gifts. The coins, which are usually presented in some type of special bag or box, symbolize the groom’s commitment to his new bride and his vow to support her.  The bride carries the coins, which are then blessed by the priest or minister, during the ceremony. Once they’ve served their purpose, the coins are added to the collection of family keepsakes.

Orange blossoms have long been the flower of choice for Spanish brides. Since the orange tree bears fruit and blossoms at the same time, its flowers represent happiness and fulfillment. Today, brides tend to use a combination of rose garlands and/or white flowers in their wedding ceremonies, but the orange blossom still remains a favorite accent and is often used in bouquets, wreaths and tiaras.

In more modern times, Spanish brides have opted to wear white silk dresses as their bridal gown.  A traditional Spanish bride’s wedding gown, although still made of silk, was quite different.  Both the dress and the lace veil were black.  Also, traditionally the groom would wear a shirt that the bride embroidered for him especially for the ceremony.

The Lasso Ceremony is a time honored tradition that begins during the minister’s prayer right after the bride and groom has said their vows. A rosary is wrapped around the couple to insure the protection of the union.

As with most cultures, the wedding rings are a significant part of the ceremony as well. Although some people may be accustomed to wearing wedding rings on the ring finger of the left hand, Spanish wedding traditions are different. The bride and groom wear wedding rings on the right hand.

A Spanish wedding reception is filled with lively festivities and music. It is typical too see a Mariachi Band or hear a DJ playing Latin or Spanish music.  The Spanish are known for their flashy, colorful dancing. During the reception guests traditionally dance a “sequidillas manchegas” and present the newlyweds with a gift.

The meal served at the reception will often consist of seafood and/or the native dish paella.  Local wines and sangria are also very popular.  Wedding cookies flavored with almond and different spices are a favorite delicacy. The wedding cake is usually filled with a variety of local fruits and almonds.

The bride and groom like to give their guests a variety of different party favors. The men in attendance can expect cigars.  The bride gives out small pins that should be worn upside down by the unmarried women during the festivities. The Spanish tradition believes if the pin is lost during the reception; the lady who loses it will be the next in line to marry.

As you can see, a Spanish wedding is an extremely festive occasion filled with time-honored traditions. Add some of these ideas to your wedding and you’ll be guaranteed a dynamic event filled with sound, color, and a whole lot of love.

A small pouch makes a great wedding party gift

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Special wedding gifts will always be treasured

France is another country that takes weddings, in all its aspects, very seriously. They prove this by the time they spend planning for weddings. They take great pride in their customs. France also offers wedding gifts that are practical and are to be honored and cherished by the bride and groom forever.

Some early French wedding traditions continue today and have even influenced the modern wedding ceremony.  For instance, the traditional bridal trousseau, or hope chest, originated in France and comes from the French word trousse, meaning bundle. The trousseau can be given as part of the wedding gifts and usually consists of a collection of clothing and household linens stored in a hope chest or elaborately carved armoire. This armoire is meant not only for storage but also as a central piece of furniture in the future household of the newlyweds. Some even suggest the concept of the trousseau contributed to the idea of the modern day bridal shower.

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Enjoy a toast with your beautiful wedding flutes

     What’s the perfect gift to give the people you love on your wedding day? The list of people is probably long, and each person should receive an individual, special gift. So let’s focus on the best man and the maid or matron of honor. They are important people in the wedding party.

                These are the two people that you’ve hand-picked to stand up for you on one of the most special days of your life. Whether they’re a relative or a friend, the best man and maid of honor obviously represent an important part of your life.  As such, they deserve something extra special. 

                The idea behind a gift for these two individuals is two-fold. You clearly want to thank them for standing up for you at the altar, (or wherever you are getting married), but you also want them to remember your wedding as a memory shared between you and them. How do you accomplish this?

                If you think about it, taking into account their personalities and relationships to you, you’re sure to come up with several great ideas. Try this on for size; pick out your favorite wedding toasting flutes, then buy a second identical set and divide them. Have them engraved with something special like “cheers to you” and put your wedding date. Give one flute to the best man and the other to the maid of honor. Make sure they know that it’s the same wedding flute that you and your spouse have.

Even if he or she doesn’t drink, they’ll still be able to find a special place in their homes and in their hearts for this thoughtful gift. It’s a great way to say thank you and I love you!

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The wedding ceremony itself, which can last for several days, is reserved for close friends and family only.  Rituals followed during the wedding ceremony vary from region to region.  A bathing ceremony is one traditional custom.  One ritual involves the gathering of the families so that the groom and his relatives can give presents to the bride’s family.  Another special custom is the kneeling ceremony.  During this event, the couple kneels in front of their parents in order to receive blessings.  While kneeling, they ask their parents’ forgiveness for any wrongdoings they may have done in the past.  During the formal ceremony, a religious rite is given based on the couple’s religious belief.  According to local law, couples from different religious backgrounds are not allowed to marry unless one changes his or her religion.   

Getting back to the reception…. the dress code will depend on the time of day and location of the event.  For a more casual affair, men will wear a long sleeved batik shirt and women a casual dress or slacks and shirt.  For a more formal, evening event, it is appropriate for men to wear a suit.  Indonesian women usually wear regional outfits in bright colors and adorned with their finest gold jewelry. 

Indonesian weddings are viewed as very special occasions.  If you happen to be around and available, Indonesian couples will feel very blessed that you took the time out of your busy schedule to show up, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

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A Traditional Japanese Wedding

As we continue to explore wedding traditions in different cultures, our next stop is Japan.  As the main religion of the Japanese people is Shinto, traditional weddings take place in a Shinto shrine.  The word Shinto means “the way of Kami (God).”  These traditional ceremonies are very intimate events attended only by the couple’s closest friends and relatives.  A Shinto priest conducts the first ceremony where the bride and groom will ask for their mind, body, and soul to be purified.  After this, they exchange vows and commit themselves to one another.  They then eat cake and drink sake.  At every traditional Japenese wedding, the couple will drink nine cups of sake.  This is a symbol of them embracing their unity.  Friends and relatives also drink sake.

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Over the next several blogs, we are going to take a trip around the world and delve into the wedding traditions practiced throughout several different countries.  It seems more and more that couples are embracing their heritage and incorporating some of their ethnic traditions into their wedding ceremony.  Not only does this lend an element of respect, which elder family members are sure to appreciate, but also adds a differentiator from every other “cookie cutter” wedding.  Shouldn’t your special day be truly special?

It’s easy to search for items like toasting glasses and favors but finding specifics on ethnic traditions require a lot more digging and research.  Let’s take a trip to India and begin with some of the traditions practiced in their culture.  Weddings in India are more than just customs and ceremonies, they consist of many fun rituals as well.  The Indian people view a marriage as not only the coming together of a man and woman, but also the coming together of two families.  Here is where the fun begins.

 One popular tradition is known as Saptapadi.  The bride and groom recite seven important vows while taking seven steps around a fire.  The fire is considered a witness to their union and a pujari (priest) observes the ritual and recites the holy mantras.  Jaimala, another popular ritual involving the friends and families of the couples, is known as the garland ceremony.  The bride begins by trying to place the garland around the groom’s neck.  As a way of teasing the bride, the groom’s friends will step in and try to prevent her from doing so.  Then the bride’s friends and family will jump in and try to help her succeed.  Both sides have a lot of fun and in the end, the groom places the garland around his bride’s neck.  The entire ritual is meant to symbolize the bride and groom’s acceptance of one another. 

A well known pre-wedding ceremony called mehendi is usually celebrated at the bride’s home.  Her female family members and friends put henna on her hands and feet.  In other Indian communities, the bride’s sister will hide the groom’s shoes and won’t give them back until he pays her for them.  Still other communities practice a ritual called “Aeki-Beki.”  A pot or dish of water is mixed with vermillion and milk and then coins and a ring are thrown in.  The couple is then given seven tries to fish the ring out. 

India is a land rich in culture and tradition.  Throughout the regions, these are merely a few of the many rituals that play such an integral role in the Indian wedding.  Any of these rituals are sure to not only enrich your ceromony but also to weave a very special piece of your ancestory into your future.  

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