Keep the wedding gifts simple

Count yourself fortunate if you’ve had the opportunity to attend an Indonesian wedding. The fascinating wedding ceremonies and festivities are most likely like none you’ve ever experienced.  Indonesians are truly honored by your attendance and don’t be surprised if an acquaintance you’ve recently met, invites you to their daughter’s or son’s wedding. They really do want you to come!

If you would like to attend the wedding ceremony, you want to be sure to bring the appropriate gift.  In modern times, extravagant wedding gifts and novelties are a thing of the past.   Because they host such large weddings, Indonesian couples would receive many duplicate gifts. It was not uncommon for the wedding couple to receive, for example, 15 blenders, 20 mixers, 10 toasters, even several refrigerators and cars!!

In the mid-90’s a new practice arose where the couple asked for the omission of gifts and flowers, right in their wedding invitation.  It translates this way, “Without belittling your generosity, we’d appreciate it if you didn’t give us flowers or a gift.”  This is a nice way of asking for money instead of gifts. Having said this, you are not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding.  Remember, you presence at their wedding is what means most to the Indonesian bride and groom.

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Wedding Novelties and Gifts Add Fun to your Festivities

Many of us tend to see the more serious side of the Indian culture.  Although marriage is considered serious and sacred, weddings in India are more than just customs and ceremonies they consist of many fun rituals as well. 

Because many of these rituals involve the good-nature of both friends and family, it would be a good idea to show them how much you appreciate their good nature, should you decide to use any of these fun rituals.  Some creative wedding gifts and novelties that somehow relate back to the ritual might be a great way to say thank you. 

For example, the garland ceremony, better known as Jaimala, is a popular ritual involving the friends and families of the couples.  The bride tries to place the garland around the groom’s neck and his friends step in and try to prevent her from doing so.  Then the bride’s friends and family will also jump in and try to help her succeed.  The ritual ends with the groom placing the garland around the bride’s neck.  Both sides have a lot of fun. A fun gift idea for the participants might be small floral garlands, either real or silk, that can be used for decoration in the home after the wedding.  You may be able to find some type of garland jewelry, maybe a necklace, bracelet or ring.  Even silly ideas like a lei or something you’d find in a party store that represents a garland would be a great reminder of this amusing ritual.

Another well known pre-wedding ceremony, called Mehendi, takes place at the bride’s home.  Her female family members and friends put henna on her hands and feet.  You could give out henna tattoos to your guests.  Maybe you could have them specially made with your names and wedding date.  Don’t worry, they’ll fade in time.

In some Indian communities, the bride’s sister hides the groom’s shoes and won’t give them back until he pays her for them.  I can see a bag of gold chocolate coins as an appropriate gift here.

The “Aeki-Beki” ritual is practiced using a pot or dish of water, mixed with vermillion and milk and then coins and a ring are thrown in.  The couple is then given seven tries to fish the ring out.  You could come up with some creatively outrageous ideas for this one.  Fishing rods for the guys and rings for the ladies would be fitting.  To add that element of fun, you could give toy fishing rods and candy rings. 

Any way you choose to interject these amusing rituals, they are sure to liven up your ceremony.  The right wedding party gifts will simply be the icing on the cake.

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Weddings Around the World – SpainSpain is known as a passionate, colorful country, rich in culture.  These attributes make the perfect ingredients for creating an amazing wedding. Spanish wedding traditions have long been a staple in Western European culture. Though they have certainly changed over the years, some of them are still practiced and cherished today.

One tradition that has survived the test of time is the presentation of thirteen coins from the groom to the bride.  Before a couple exchanges their vows, the groom gives his bride thirteen coins as part of his wedding party gifts. The coins, which are usually presented in some type of special bag or box, symbolize the groom’s commitment to his new bride and his vow to support her.  The bride carries the coins, which are then blessed by the priest or minister, during the ceremony. Once they’ve served their purpose, the coins are added to the collection of family keepsakes.

Orange blossoms have long been the flower of choice for Spanish brides. Since the orange tree bears fruit and blossoms at the same time, its flowers represent happiness and fulfillment. Today, brides tend to use a combination of rose garlands and/or white flowers in their wedding ceremonies, but the orange blossom still remains a favorite accent and is often used in bouquets, wreaths and tiaras.

In more modern times, Spanish brides have opted to wear white silk dresses as their bridal gown.  A traditional Spanish bride’s wedding gown, although still made of silk, was quite different.  Both the dress and the lace veil were black.  Also, traditionally the groom would wear a shirt that the bride embroidered for him especially for the ceremony.

The Lasso Ceremony is a time honored tradition that begins during the minister’s prayer right after the bride and groom has said their vows. A rosary is wrapped around the couple to insure the protection of the union.

As with most cultures, the wedding rings are a significant part of the ceremony as well. Although some people may be accustomed to wearing wedding rings on the ring finger of the left hand, Spanish wedding traditions are different. The bride and groom wear wedding rings on the right hand.

A Spanish wedding reception is filled with lively festivities and music. It is typical too see a Mariachi Band or hear a DJ playing Latin or Spanish music.  The Spanish are known for their flashy, colorful dancing. During the reception guests traditionally dance a “sequidillas manchegas” and present the newlyweds with a gift.

The meal served at the reception will often consist of seafood and/or the native dish paella.  Local wines and sangria are also very popular.  Wedding cookies flavored with almond and different spices are a favorite delicacy. The wedding cake is usually filled with a variety of local fruits and almonds.

The bride and groom like to give their guests a variety of different party favors. The men in attendance can expect cigars.  The bride gives out small pins that should be worn upside down by the unmarried women during the festivities. The Spanish tradition believes if the pin is lost during the reception; the lady who loses it will be the next in line to marry.

As you can see, a Spanish wedding is an extremely festive occasion filled with time-honored traditions. Add some of these ideas to your wedding and you’ll be guaranteed a dynamic event filled with sound, color, and a whole lot of love.

A small pouch makes a great wedding party gift

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Weddings Around the World-France

Special wedding gifts will always be treasured

France is another country that takes weddings, in all its aspects, very seriously. They prove this by the time they spend planning for weddings. They take great pride in their customs. France also offers wedding gifts that are practical and are to be honored and cherished by the bride and groom forever.

Some early French wedding traditions continue today and have even influenced the modern wedding ceremony.  For instance, the traditional bridal trousseau, or hope chest, originated in France and comes from the French word trousse, meaning bundle. The trousseau can be given as part of the wedding gifts and usually consists of a collection of clothing and household linens stored in a hope chest or elaborately carved armoire. This armoire is meant not only for storage but also as a central piece of furniture in the future household of the newlyweds. Some even suggest the concept of the trousseau contributed to the idea of the modern day bridal shower.

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Generally couples feel extremely honored by the presence of those who attend their wedding.  This couldn’t hold more, true than in the Indonesian culture.  As a matter of fact, the bride and groom will send an invitation to anyone and everyone they know, even if they are a mere acquaintance or simply visiting the area for a short time.  Although most acquaintances won’t show up, there could still be hundreds if not thousands of guests in attendance.  They especially like having some foreigners there.  Guests not native to Indonesia are believed to be very prestigious.  Believe it or not, a majority of the guests are only invited to the wedding reception, not the wedding.  Imagine feeding and entertaining thousands!!!

The wedding ceremony itself, which can last for several days, is reserved for close friends and family only.  Rituals followed during the wedding ceremony vary from region to region.  A bathing ceremony is one traditional custom.  One ritual involves the gathering of the families so that the groom and his relatives can give presents to the bride’s family.  Another special custom is the kneeling ceremony.  During this event, the couple kneels in front of their parents in order to receive blessings.  While kneeling, they ask their parents’ forgiveness for any wrongdoings they may have done in the past.  During the formal ceremony, a religious rite is given based on the couple’s religious belief.  According to local law, couples from different religious backgrounds are not allowed to marry unless one changes his or her religion.   

Getting back to the reception…. the dress code will depend on the time of day and location of the event.  For a more casual affair, men will wear a long sleeved batik shirt and women a casual dress or slacks and shirt.  For a more formal, evening event, it is appropriate for men to wear a suit.  Indonesian women usually wear regional outfits in bright colors and adorned with their finest gold jewelry. 

Indonesian weddings are viewed as very special occasions.  If you happen to be around and available, Indonesian couples will feel very blessed that you took the time out of your busy schedule to show up, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

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Capture the spirit of the season you marry in

Winter time weddings usually breed winter themed weddings, including location, (probably indoors), decorations and possibly your selection of a favor. I went to a December wedding once where the couple gave each female guest two ornate glass Christmas ornaments. I suspect they were pricy because they were in boxes from an upscale department store. I certainly understand the relevancy here, but if the majority of your guests don’t celebrate Christmas, (and you are aware of this fact), then I’d suggest something else; something more appropriate for the general public.

Spring weddings tend to lend themselves to a few more options than winter weddings. Depending on the month, you can have a portion or all of wedding reception outdoors. You’ll have a variety of flowers to choose from. You can find lots of wedding supplies geared towards the spring months, including holidays like St. Patrick’s Day. You may also get a better turn out of out of town guests. People are less averse to traveling if in climate weather isn’t an issue.

Daytime or nighttime weddings are both good choices in the summer. I would suggest lighter colors and lighter weight dresses for the bridesmaids. People will get antsy quickly if they have to spend an hour on formal pictures outside in a black gown in the middle of August! If your reception is going to be outside, make sure the tables are under tents or that there is some form of shade. If it’s going to be indoors, make sure the reception hall has air conditioning.

Fall and harvest type themes speak volumes in the fall months. If you’re into the yellows, oranges and browns, then fall is the right season for you. It should be relatively easy to provide an elegant setting or whatever setting you want with the changing of leaf colors. Corn stalks and scarecrows are great if they’re utilized in the proper setting. If your wedding is early enough in the fall season, you may be able to have cocktail hour outside.

No matter what month you pick to marry in, just try to make sure that you are in sync with the season. You can certainly do what you want to do, but if your hearts’ desire is to have a clambake for the food, I’d stick with the summer months. It might seem a little odd to eat steamers and lobster in many places in January. Of course you could always have a destination wedding to the Caribbean or some other exotic place where it’s pretty much always summer.  Ah, but that’s a whole separate topic!

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Subtle yet elegant is a good bet for wedding jewelry

Silver and gold jewelry have been available for forever and a day. But what about your day? What will look best with the style of dress you’ve chosen for you and for your bridesmaids? Is everyone’s hair up or down? This is important for picking the right earrings; dangling or studs. Necklaces will depend on the neckline of the dress. If it has an open neck you can choose the length of the necklace based on how low cut the neck line is. If any of the dresses have a very high or closed neck, a necklace or chain may be pointless, because it probably won’t be seen. The same holds true for bracelets. A bracelet of sorts will definitely stand out with short sleeved, sleeveless or tank top style dresses. But they’ll most likely go unnoticed and hidden behind long sleeves.

There are certainly plenty of options out there to choose from, including some very elaborate hand made wedding jewelry. Whatever your preference is, whether it’s gold, silver, platinum, pearls or something else, the key is consistency. If your bridesmaids are all wearing the same dress and same basic hair do’s, then you should keep their style and quantity of wedding jewelry the same, (or at least similar), as well. The bride has more flexibility in her own jewelry because she is, after all, the center of attention! No matter what your desired look for the day is, elegant, simple, classic, sassy or trendy, you’ll choose your jewelry style, (if any at all), accordingly. The right wedding jewelry will get noticed by guests and add just the right touch of class to the bridal party’s ensemble.

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Engravable wedding party gifts

There are so many details, both great and small, that we remember about our wedding day. Hopefully they’re all pleasant memories. The bride and groom will remember special things such as their wedding song; the first song they dance to as husband and wife. They’ll also remember the generous gifts they were given, along with all the advice they received, (and not necessarily solicited advice!) But isn’t it equally as important to remember the people who participated in your wedding?

               You hand-picked your bridal party and you chose these specific people because of what they represent to you and for the impact they’ve each had on your life. They’ll spend time and money to help make your wedding perfect. They each deserve a special gift to show your appreciation for their support and effort. Wedding Party Gifts can be just about anything you want them to be. There are no limitations on size or dollar amount; of course the idea behind this tradition is not about monetary value. The only gift I would stay away from is money, (cash or check).

Bridal party gifts should be from the heart and be something either sentimental, practical, or both. When I got married, I gave each of the bridesmaids and ushers something special, (all different and tailored to their individual personalities, but all of equal value). My maid of honor received a beautiful 8×10 empty frame with the inscription, “Thank you for standing by my side” and my wedding date. A couple of months later when I received my formal wedding pictures, I presented her with a picture of the two of us to put in the frame. The picture is proudly displayed in her living room, 14 years later.  The best man received the same two part gift from my husband.

The bottom line is that your wedding party deserves due recognition for their part in your special day. They’ll love and treasure whatever you give them because they know it was a well thought out and heart felt gift!

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